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Location: Lowell, MA

I'm Kevin Griener, bitch; you better axe someone.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Seniority, and breakfast at McDonald's

A couple of items on my day:

- Went shopping around 2, ended up spending quite a bit less than usual because I was pretty well stocked up on a lot of the things I need to make food for a week. Had tacos tonight, which were very good, as always - if you're interested in cooking for yourself but you want to start with something simple, I definately recommend trying tacos first; they are very easy to make - all of the instructions are on the pack of taco seasoning, whether you use McCormick's (my favorite) or Old El Paso (my mom's preference), and they are rather delicious, especially if you make your own guacomole, you'll have to figure out how to do that yourself.

-I went to watch the freshmen football team at my sister's high school (Dracut High) play. I've seen the freshmen team play twice, and both times they won convincingly. I don't know what their overall record is, but the varsity team is 6-1 - I've seen them play once. Kait is more concerned with the freshman team than the varsity, though, because she teaches mostly freshmen in her English classes; she gets really excited when her favorite student, the unfortunately named Geraldo, gets playing time - which unfortunately is usually near the end of blowout games, if you get my point. But she does have other students on the team, including the star QB/WR/safety/kicker. This time they beat the other school - which I believe was Haverhill - 28-0.

- Scrubs was great, of course. The Daily Show & Colbert Report are doing all reruns this week in preparation for their Midwest Midterm Midtacular, which will be coming out of Cleveland next week, so instead we watched Inside the Actors' Studio, which tonight featured the voice cast of The Simpsons, which, as James Lipton said, has the most consistently funny writing in the history of television. Think about it: what is the last Simpson's episode you ever saw that "missed"? It was fascinating to see the faces behind the voices, and to hear the stories of from where they came.

- I made seniority at work today, which means I am officially no longer "in training" and I am now a member of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters. I haven't completely paid the initiation fee yet, so I am not yet eligible for health benefits, but I am under the Union's protection, which basically means I can't get fired unless a) I do something really stupid, like get into a fistfight or get caught stealing something or b) I rack up enough offenses (which are all noted in paperwork) that the union can't back me. Since I plan on doing neither, and since UPS won't be laying anybody off anytime soon (and by "soon" I mean, like, ever), I basically have this job as long as I want it, which at least is a measure of security.

- Also, my friend Andy accepted the opportunity to work 3 days a week at UPS. I relaize I spend a lot of space on this guy for a heterosexual, but you have to understand that I don't have a lot of friends up here. I'm only on a first name basis with about a dozen people, period, relations excluded. In other words, it's plenty lonely enough here without losing what few friends I have. It's like Jason Bourne said to the German chick when they got to his apartment: "Forget you? You're the only person I know."

Now my rant. I was at the drive through at McDonald's today (I'm not proud of it - they're cheap and I'm poor), and I found myself looking at the breakfast menu while I was waiting for the speaker to ask me what I wanted. My eyes wandered to a monstrosity called the "Bacon, Egg, and Cheese McGriddle". For those of you who don't know, or for those of you who do know but never took the opportunity to reflect on the implications of this information, the Bacon, Egg, and Cheese McGriddle is a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwhich. Unlike the Bacon, Egg, and Cheese McMuffin or the Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Bagel sandwhiches, however, the Bacon, Egg and Cheese McGriddle is a sandwhich where the bun is, in fact, two pancakes! When I realized exactly what I was seeing, I wondered, "holy shit, can you put syrup on this thing?" I can only imagine you can. Probably butter, too. Can you imagine eating two pancakes, syrup, butter, strips of bacon, an egg, and cheese all at the same time? Can I get that with a side of double greased, fried potatoes? Sure you can! You can get a Coke, too, if you want! No wonder this is the fattest country in world history. They ought to have a T-shirt that says, "I survived the Bacon, Egg, and Cheese McGriddle" and then give it out to any customer who successfully ingests one of these biohazards without immediately going into cardiac arrest.

Anyway, that's what I got this morning. The sports blog will be updated next, with my latest NFL Power Rankings, and then the political blog, where I'll be talking about a terrific article in the New York Times.

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